Tested and Refined

So as much as I love school and learning things, there is one thing that I would happily do without: tests. I hate how worried they make me, how much time all of the studying takes, and most of all, how little sleep I get before them. They push me to use my time most efficiently (bye bye facebook and jcrew.com) and to hone in on what's really most important. It's so easy to read my notes and comprehend their general meaning, but I never fully understand concepts until I'm asked to apply them in a real life situation. As much as I hate to admit it - I need tests to master the material. For me, my spiritual walk is really similar. As many times as I can read the truth of the bible, I can't fully appreciate or understand what it means until its application is tested in my life. It's certainly not a pleasant experience, but those spiritual tests really help me cling to the Lord and refocus spiritually. I really like how this is described in Malachi:

For he will be like a refiner's fire or a launderer's soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the Lord will have men who bring offerings of righteousness, and the offerings of Judah and Jerusalem will be acceptable to the Lord, as in days gone by, as in former years. - Malachi 3: 2-4

I don't know about you, but I much prefer the image of being refined into a beautiful peace of gold or silver than the image of being tested. For me, gaining knowledge often doesn't seem quite as rewarding as being shaped into something beautiful and infinitely valuable. That's the Lord's goal though: to shape us into people that want to bring him our absolute best before him. I know that's something I really want! I also love how Malachi clarifies later that this is through the Lord's effort:

I the Lord do not change. So you, the descendents of Jacob, are not destroyed. Ever since the time of your ancestors you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you. - Malachi 3: 6-7

I don't know about you all, but in terms of consistency, I'm often less than ideal. My feelings and emotions are more than a little fickle, and if my righteousness depended purely on my own efforts - yikes! I'd be in big trouble. I love how it is the Lord's constancy that allows us to come back into a relationship with Him even when we have strayed. All we need to do is make the tiniest effort to return, and the Lord will welcome us back with open arms, ready to sustain us. For me, I think that makes passing tests and turning away from my sins a lot easier, in that I know that I am not doing it alone! Today, my prayer is that we would draw near to the Lord (especially if we're going through a time of refining!) and cling to Him for strength as He shapes us into the men and women he created us to be!