Real Talk

One of my favorite new phrases/concepts this year is the idea of "real talk." Real talk is simple: it's when you strip away all of the niceties and justifications, stop beating around the bush, and admit to someone what you actually think and feel. Sound easy? I can assure you it is not. It is really hard to let someone know what you honestly think about a situation - it's not pretty or convenient. Sometimes it's not kind, and it exposes things about yourself you'd rather keep hidden. While real talk is not about venting all of your thoughts in a harmful way, it IS about having your insides match your outsides, and ultimately, just being completely honest.

Real talk is hard with other people, and real talk can be REALLY hard with God.

When I'm thinking about real talk with God, I can't help but be drawn to stories about the Pharisees:

Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men - robbers, evildoers, adulterers - or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.' But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and say, 'God have mercy on me, a sinner.' I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. Luke 18:10-13

Real talk: there is no way that the Pharisee is being honest with the Lord about his sins.

Real talk: my relationship with God can be a lot more like the Pharisee than the tax collector.

Sure, I can give God some of my sins, but others I keep to myself and prefer not to talk about. Instead of asking God to make my way pure, I often ask for God to make me more consistent with my quiet times or to be a better leader - as if He can do that without making my walk straight first. I get uncomfortable admitting to God, much less to others, what I am really struggling with. By keeping my sin from God, I prevent myself from being forgiven and justified before God, as well as from witnessing to others through my struggle. Jesus emphasizes the importance of our inner and outer selves matching in Matthew:

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside you are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside will also be clean. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones and everything unclean. Matthew 23:25-27

I can't say for sure why it can be hard for me to be truly honest with the Lord, but I do know one thing: it is a lot easier to put on the appearance of being holy than to actually become so. It is so easy to clean our outsides, making our spiritual walks look good to others, without meaningfully growing in the Lord. We can be pretty and clean on the outside, but be full of all sorts of gunk on the inside (that whitewashed tomb metaphor really gets to me!).

This reality raises a lot of hard questions: Who's opinion do we valuing more - others' or God's? Do we actually want to be pure before God, or do we care more that others see us as pure? Certainly not easy questions, but I think they are very worthwhile to answer honestly before the Lord.

Whew! I feel like that was a lot of heavy, convicting stuff (at least for me it was!). I wanted to share a couple things that also make real talk with God INFINITELY better than real talk with people before I shared my personal "spiritual challenge" that I'd love to have you join with me in. First of all, God already knows what you're going to tell him anyway.

Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely Lord, O Lord. Psalm 139:4

Second of all, He already loves you unconditionally.

Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever. Psalm 136:26

Two BIG pluses in my book compared with other people, who could be totally floored by your news and who could judge you for it. So, I've got two challenges for today! Pray honestly to the Lord about something you've been holding back from Him. Share what you've prayed with someone else you trust (I think it's really helpful sometimes to have a friend demonstrate God's unconditional love towards us in something like this!). Real talk with God is important - it allows us to be justified before Him and to draw closer to Him.

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Psalm 51:5

The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7