Guest Post: Embracing Our True Selves in Him

Libby and my dad taking me for a joyride on the bayou- isn't she just the best house guest?

Today I'm so excited to feature a guest post from one of my dearest friends, Libby!  Within  ten minutes of our very first meeting nearly 5 years ago, she had already drawn a Harry Potter lightning bolt-shaped scar on my forehead to match her own- I knew I was just gonna love her!  This girl always has a smile on her face and is such a light to everyone around her.  She's also got an incredible heart for the Lord and is simply brimming with His wonderful love.  Take it away, Libs!

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I lift up my eyes to the hills - 

from whence comes my help?

My help comes from the LORD,

who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved;

He who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, He who keeps Israel 

shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;

The LORD is your shade at your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day,

Nor the moon by night.

The LORD shall preserve you from all evil;

He shall preserve your soul.

The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in

from this time forth, and even forevermore.

- Psalm 121 (NKJV)

After reading Farrell's post last Thursday on loosing our grip on our earthly lives to give to God every part of us, I couldn't help but recall a time in my life when I was terrified of allowing God into every corner of me.  And if I were being truly honest, I still find myself struggling to let Him in. 

As a college student seeking God for the first time a year or so ago, I was elated by this newly discovered best friend who was with me at all times.  I was amazed how He comforts and consoles me, leads me to reach out to others in love, gives me purpose in life, and loves me with an unconditional, unmerited love that I'll never understand.  Despite all this, I still insisted upon constraining Him to only certain areas of my life.  He and I could hang out at Bible Study, church, and maybe a day when I was really sad or stressed, but when I was out with my friends?  Or when I was dating someone new?  No, thanks.  I still believed that I had an identity separate from God, that I was a "Libby" that didn't have anything to do with Jesus Christ and that I would lose a part of myself if I totally gave into Him. 

Last year, ever so gradually, God started to knock on every door and defense I put up against him.  After months of prodding me, I finally caught on that if I was going to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and invite Him into my heart, I couldn't love Him and follow Him only sometimes.  No longer could I think of Bible study as an occasional hobby, either. God created me and loves me, and apart from Him I am nothing.  There was no "Libby" to hold onto other than the "Libby" that God created, and He creates all of us to be in an open and deep relationship with Him. 

God finally hit me with this truth when I read Psalm 121.  God is my keeper.  My very soul is preserved in Him.  The true Libby is found when I am in His arms, totally open to Him, my heart beating against His, my desires in sync with His will.  All this time I've been holding onto this earthly perception of myself - defined by what other people thought of me, how well I did in school or in track, my political convictions, and how many good friendships and relationships I had.  And yet I was missing out on the core truth of the one relationship that loves me, protects me, and sustains me like no other.  When I submitted to God and let Him into every aspect of my life, I made the first step to remove all those false, earthly selves, and to embrace my true self in Christ.  Letting God in and knowing Him allowed me to know myself the way my Creator intended me to be. 

I confess at times I still find myself shutting God out of certain areas or begrudgingly listening to His knocking, but when I return to Psalm 121 I remind myself that my God knocks in order to protect me from all harm and preserve my soul in Him. I'm not losing any part of myself by giving myself to God, rather I am finding myself for the very first time.