He Is Strong

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. 

–Philippians 4:13

Do you ever have days that, by the time 5 PM hits, you wish you had just stayed in bed all day?  Yesterday was one of those days.  Having slept oddly Tuesday night, I woke up Wednesday morning with the worst crick in my neck I’ve ever had.  I literally couldn’t turn my head to the right at all.  I stumbled into work late and didn’t have the best work day ever, to say the least.  At one point I just started crying and had to run to the bathroom.  Me, who can count the number of times I’ve cried in the past few years on one hand, just sat in my office bathroom and cried.  I was completely drained and absolutely miserable.  To top off my incredible day, I had a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon where, after getting a shot, I immediately felt deathly ill and collapsed onto a nurse, who thankfully caught me and carried me to a nearby table to lie down.

Lying on the table, I felt completely helpless.  The nurses fanned me and brought me water, and really the only thing I could focus on was keeping myself conscious, which was quite a struggle in itself.  Although it’s not going down in the books as my favorite day ever, the Lord taught me something very important yesterday.  As much as I wish I am and as hard as I try to be, I am not in control.  I cannot control my life, my circumstances, my health, my friends, my surroundings, my future.  I am completely helpless apart from Him.  No matter how I try to make my life full and satisfying with work, my friends, taking care of my “to do” lists --- nothing will satisfy or strengthen me aside from our Father.  I am a mere human in a dark and broken world, and when I don’t lean on Him, I fall.  Again and again I fall, until I trust completely in Him who gives me strength. 

Praise be to our Father who catches us time and time again!

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on the wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. 

-Isaiah 40:31