Thursday, October 21, 2010

Love Through Death

The other day after work I went shopping for a dress to wear to a wedding this weekend—I just love weddings! Besides giving me an excuse to go hunting for a cute bargain outfit, weddings are a unique opportunity to meditate on love, commitment, and new beginnings.

Whenever I attend a wedding, I can’t help but contemplate the deeper meaning of each part of the ceremony. It’s such a beautiful thing to watch two people give their lives to each other in love. I am always especially fascinated by the profound implication of the wedding vows, which—although often considered just another necessary event on the program—are really serious. Consider the following snippet of a traditional vow, in which each person promises to take the other…

“To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'til death do us part.”

Here the individual pledges before witnesses that they voluntarily take responsibility for the other (to have and hold) in any and all circumstances (better, worse, rich, poor, sick, healthy) for the rest of their earthly existence (‘til death do us part). Let the gravity of that settle on you for a minute. In a marriage, two people become one entity (Genesis 2:24): this sacrament of love is deep and it is lasting (Matthew 19:6). The seriousness and profundity of love in marriage cannot be overstated. It is an incredible miracle, and a wonderful testament to our Lord of Love. In fact, marriage itself is often the metaphorical vehicle by which we are to understand Christ’s relationship with the Church.

But even though marriage is an incredible reflection of God’s love, in the end, it is just that: a reflection. It is only because the moon reflects the light of the Sun that we see it at all, let alone marvel at its beauty in the night sky. In the same way, if there is anything good about our human ability to love, it points to God, who alone is good (Mark 10:18). Humans can love—and love well—but “God is love” (1 John 4:8). Human love pales immediately in comparison to the infinite love of God.

Wedding vows promising faithfulness in marital love end with “Till death do us part.” For us as humans, death marks the end of relationship, or at least the end of relationship as we know it. We don’t know what our relationships with our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, spouses, or children will look like in heaven. I don’t say this to raise apocalyptic anxieties—we just really don’t know. Given the nature of God, I’m not worried. So for now, we love until death, at which point we will discover a glorious new beginning with our Savior.

God, on the other hand, loves through death and beyond. His love endures all things and is not even touched by death. In his letter to the Romans, Paul writes about this magnificent truth: “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).

Human love, exemplified in the marriage covenant, is beautiful and truly good. But let us not forget that God’s love is perfect. I know that I will enjoy the wedding this weekend, which promises to be a wonderful celebration of deep and genuine love shared between two people, a reflection of God’s amazing love. (Side note: Usually, when watching a wedding, I grin like a fool.) And when I hear the vows, I will remember the boundless love of God and smile all the more, knowing that my heavenly groom loves me now and forever, in death and far beyond.

“Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

(1 Corinthians 13:12)

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